Fun and A little Disaster

2 days ago we had a freshie night at ICSJ.Is for freshmen's of INTI. But somehow i feel like there were more seniors than freshmens.

Sad Right ?Anyways, it was a BBQ. And there was nothing much to eat.The fun comes in when they started with the games and performances.And here is the fun part and sad part for me.There was one guy performing hip hop dance.And he was really good. But after he performed.The whole thing turned into a battle. Well not really a battle. More like a small dance competition.So we danced. And my friend bryan limus was the first to perform.I was second to perform and 2 others performed after me.Here's the thing. I don like to dance battle. Because I dance just for the fun of it.I admit I LOVE TO DANCE. But i would not want to battle. The reason i went out because my friends and the crowd wanted me to go out and dance. So i did.And that night the crowd would decide who is the winner judging by how loud they cheer for the dancer.And guess what. I WON. And the prize is i got a NIKE T-SHIRT.But somehow I feel bad for the performer early on. It was suppose to be his floor. Not mine.One thing about dance battle. Somehow people gets the wrong idea and maybe say things which offends people.Even though it feels good to dance. But is wrong to dance just to defeat people.

But enough about that. After the dance thing. My friends and I continued to party on.Well, nothing much actually. We just took a lot pictures. And played basketball after that.It was really fun. My cousin john was there too. He crashed into the party.HAHA.The basketball match was a lot of fun. But our team lost. Oh well. haha.Here are some pictures of the night =)

Singing performance by ruis and may =)

Group picture =)

Group picture with a little kick =)

Dorm friends =)

Sabahan freeze !

Feelings Revealed

Today was a horrible day for me.

I ignored my friends all the way.

Well I didn't ignore all of them. Some of them.

And I feel really bad for doing that.

And I'm sorry you guys.

Somehow all my frustration from every situation came into me at ones.

And it was a horrible feeling.

Till now I still feel bad.

And I don know how am I gonna be like tomorrow.

I hope I'l be fine.

I'm not as strong as i thought i was.

And is really depressing to know.

Many times i feel like falling.

Tears seriously going to burst out.

I feel like crying already just by typing this post.

I don wanna cry. Cause some how I feel like is lame for me to cry about all this.

I never thought I would be in a situation like this.

I don wanna be in a situation like this.

But heck what am I saying anyways.

I still have to face facts I have to go through all these.

But why is it so hard.

Why cant i stand up ?

Why i cant i have the strength to get back up ?

I pray. I believed.

But what is God trying to do ?

What does He want from me ?

Why cant I feel your presents Lord ?

I miss my parents so much.

I wanna cry just by thinking about it.

I never thought i would miss home so much.

The only place where I feel like home is at my relatives place.

Which I don wanna go too often.

Because I don wanna them to use extra money, food and electricity.

I wanna hug my mom.

I want my dad to be around.

Even if it means just watching him work all day long.

Somehow friends is an issues for me here.

I don know who to trust anymore.

Though i can talk and eat with them.

But somehow there is a feeling of discomfort.

Mainly because i received a lot of disappointment from them.

But i'm not going to mention who and why.

For those who i can actually talk to somehow is hard to talk with them as well.

Cause they have their own stuff to do.

And distance and time is also an issue.

I cant go on. I don feel like it.

Some how I'm still walking because God wouldn't let me stop.

I don know what to think.

I don know what to do.

I know is very lame of me to be like this.

But i cant help it.

Feeling update

IS STILL A LITTLE FRUSTRATED !

Though things may seem okay with me.

But there is a lot more hidden inside of me.

It is kinda hard to tell some one how you exactly feel.

Keeping it inside is not a very good feeling.

But somehow keeping it in is the safest thing to do.

The things we do and the things we say.

May and may not cause a big effect to people around us.

Life here is somehow complicated.

And i understand the fact many people have their own problems.

But my life here is someone else problem effects me.

And i mean seriously effect me.

Though i wanna be strong.

But i'm not strong enough.

Maybe I don seek God enough now.

And i get distracted easily.

But distraction shouldn't drag me away from Him.

Though i pray.

But it feels like I'm borrowing God.

Instead of following God.

And it is a horrible feeling.

HELP !

For Your Info

Is official. Now i don know who to trust anymore.

Yes. Their are a few friends that i can actually connect to and talk about anything with them.

( I'm sure you know who you are)

But their are a few people that I am not willing to listen to.

And i have my reasons.

I never expected anyone to like me or respect me.

Cause honestly I'm not really showing much respect either.

I don't hate. Is just sometimes I feel uncomfortable.

But the worse part is. Having a close friend which is a girl would actual start people from

saying things that are untrue and starts to be sarcastic about it.

I'm not angry. I'm just annoyed.

Please. I don bother about your personal life and relationship.

And it gives you not right to simply say things and make it annoying.

Don go around thinking that I'm talking about you.

This is a shout out to quite a few number of people.

New Hair Style and Biography

Guess I Was Wrong

This past few weeks has been awful. Things were okay at first.

But now reality comes in. Many things happened at onces, but a lot people didn't notice.

And i choose to keep it for myself.

1] Good friends are really hard to find here.

Sure there are some. But somehow is hard to talk to them. With all the classes and assignments and the distances. And adding in those that have been giving burden and trouble. Is really adding into the frustration.

2] I haven't been praying lately. I trust in God.

But i don know why i don seek for Him. Meaning to say i'm having problems in my spiritual life. I guess i'm allowing my surroundings affect me.

3] I miss my parents. I miss my hometown. I miss my friends back there.

I get excited when ever my mom calls to have a conversation with me. And when my dad calls for a short while to check up on me. I never thought being away from my family is that hard.

I see my friends heading back to their hometown and back to their families. I get upset thinking about how much i wish i can go back to my family.

4] All of the above is causing me to not being able to concentrate on my assignments. Imagine sitting in front of the lap top and all you think about is the things your going through here and now.

I wish i have someone to talk to. Sitting in my room alone is

just awful and depressing.

I need God. But i'm having trouble seeking Him.

Shout Out Back Hometown

This short video is done by me.

Is a shout out to all of my friends back at K.K =)

Hope you guys like it. And ignore the beat box part.

Is just to add in the lame-ness. haha

ENJOY and GOD BLESS

Him.

Though I am weak.

But my God is strong.

Though I'm not perfect

But my God has always been perfect.

Though i'm standing low.

But my God is standing high.

Though I don know how to love.

But my God does.

Though I feel like giving up.

But my God wont.

Though I'm running out of strength.

But my God is always strong.

Thats why we need God in our life.

I need Him right now.

The Nike And The Day

I AM STILL NIKE CRAZY !

Check out this awesome sneakers which i found online.

Seriously to die for, I'm just being sarcastic. Haha !

But one thing i'm afraid of is that i might not look good wearing NIKE DUNKS

Cause of my skinny legs =(

What happened today u ask ? well let me tell you =)

Had a pop quiz today on ENGLISH FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSE.

It was easy, mainly because we're allowed to look at out notes. Ha !

But before that i had gastric. It was really suffering.

And one of my friend is so nice enough to ask another friend of mine to go out of campus to buy me gastric medicine.

I was so touched after i felt better. Haha.

Cause i was in pain. How do you expect me to think ?

But yea. It shows i do have friends here that care for me =)

I'm really blessed with the friends i have here.

CHANGE YOUR WORLD TOUR IS COMING UP

I hope i can get some of my friends to attend this event.

I wanna show them what changes we can make for our world

And why i have been fasting breakfast for so long.

So those who read this blog post. Please do let me know if wish to come and attend this event.

Is gonna be a fun and meaningful night =)

Anyways. Thats all for today =)

God Bless you guys