Feelings Revealed

Today was a horrible day for me.

I ignored my friends all the way.

Well I didn't ignore all of them. Some of them.

And I feel really bad for doing that.

And I'm sorry you guys.

Somehow all my frustration from every situation came into me at ones.

And it was a horrible feeling.

Till now I still feel bad.

And I don know how am I gonna be like tomorrow.

I hope I'l be fine.

I'm not as strong as i thought i was.

And is really depressing to know.

Many times i feel like falling.

Tears seriously going to burst out.

I feel like crying already just by typing this post.

I don wanna cry. Cause some how I feel like is lame for me to cry about all this.

I never thought I would be in a situation like this.

I don wanna be in a situation like this.

But heck what am I saying anyways.

I still have to face facts I have to go through all these.

But why is it so hard.

Why cant i stand up ?

Why i cant i have the strength to get back up ?

I pray. I believed.

But what is God trying to do ?

What does He want from me ?

Why cant I feel your presents Lord ?

I miss my parents so much.

I wanna cry just by thinking about it.

I never thought i would miss home so much.

The only place where I feel like home is at my relatives place.

Which I don wanna go too often.

Because I don wanna them to use extra money, food and electricity.

I wanna hug my mom.

I want my dad to be around.

Even if it means just watching him work all day long.

Somehow friends is an issues for me here.

I don know who to trust anymore.

Though i can talk and eat with them.

But somehow there is a feeling of discomfort.

Mainly because i received a lot of disappointment from them.

But i'm not going to mention who and why.

For those who i can actually talk to somehow is hard to talk with them as well.

Cause they have their own stuff to do.

And distance and time is also an issue.

I cant go on. I don feel like it.

Some how I'm still walking because God wouldn't let me stop.

I don know what to think.

I don know what to do.

I know is very lame of me to be like this.

But i cant help it.